Thought 100: People like to compare to show off

People, however, are very much prone to compare but when they do so, more often than not, they do so for the purpose of showing off. People get a peculiar pleasure, if you admire them for something that they have – and which you do not have. This is human nature – and perhaps, you may call it more appropriately, a human failing. People welcome any opportunity for getting this admiration from their fellow beings. This is how ego manifests itself. Haven’t you seen the 'nouveau riche' driving their big shiny Mercedes slowly in front of your house? We accept it with a smile, because we do not mind, if people feel good when they attain success. A little social recognition is in order – especially, when a person does so well in life. It is a legitimate yearning, which is understood. In the Maslow model, social recognition figures as a good motivator of behavior, after their physical and security needs are satisfied.

What is not acceptable, however, is the vulgar display of wealth - especially in poor neighborhoods, as it frequently happens in any country. You may get a kick out of showing off, but to those deprived of even the basic necessities of life, this is like twisting the knife in the wound. This makes those not so fortunate, boil - especially, if they suspect that, this is an ill-gotten wealth, obtained by shameless exploitation of the weaker sections of the society. These are the seemingly trivial episodes that spark revolutions.

There is, of course, the flip side of the coin also. You find a colleague or a neighbor, having something, which you do not have. You feel that you must have even something better, "to teach them a sharp lesson". This is jealousy in its pristine form. You have to have it, no matter what it takes to get it. That you cannot afford it - is no consideration. Have you not seen families getting into debt just to satisfy extravagant whims of this nature?

People given to extravagant habits think that they are going to be happy when their whims and fancies are gratified. The truth is that they can never be happy; no pursuit based on such negative thinking can ever lead to happiness.

When you exhibit your wealth in this manner, your main aim is not happiness. You wish to make someone else unhappy and want to feel pleased over that. You can never be peaceful and happy on that foundation. The situation becomes even worse when you do these comparisons with the very rich or the very highly talented persons. You have no earthly chance of ever matching them in anything, because the differential involved is really huge and can never be bridged. There is no possibility at all of ever coming up to their level. You also know that. And yet, you are unable to keep those thoughts away. You are, of course, distancing yourself from your happiness by these comparisons.

The next thought is about “Aim at Perfection but settle for what is practicable”

Thought 99: No Comparisons, No Complexes

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You also have strengths and weaknesses. All of us have to realize this fact and appreciate that, no one - absolutely no one - has only strengths and no weaknesses at all; and similarly, no one has only weaknesses and no strengths at all. Some will have more strengths than weaknesses and others will have more weaknesses than strengths. These strengths as well as weaknesses need not be in the same areas for all persons; in fact, they are never. God has not created this world on the basis of equality. No two individuals, seldom have identical strengths and weaknesses. The finger prints of individuals is a good example of this truth.

Frequently, we get into complexes without our knowledge. Take a student - call him student "A". He may be good at sports but his grades in maths are poor. Because of his interest in sports, he is always in good health and physical fitness. He feels good and he has a good temperament. There is another student - call him student "B" - in the same class. "B" has always been getting good grades in maths, but he does not care for games and sports. His physical health is nothing to write home about. He has a bad temperament too; he is irritable and snaps at you at the least provocation.

If "A" were to compare with "B" in maths skills, he is buying himself a one way ticket to inferiority complex. He is forgetting that he has strengths too - in areas wherein "B" is weak. If he has to compare at all, he should do so in all areas, in fairness to himself, so that the balance and perspective are never lost. Is it not a familiar scenario? Have you not done this? Several good students suffer agony and become miserable, not because they do not have any talent for studies, but because, they think that they do not have the talent, on account of such ill-conceived comparisons. When you compare your weakness with someone else's strength, you are bound to feel inferior. If this is allowed to become a habit, you get an inferiority complex.

Comparisons are indeed odious. If you think that you are no good and you are born to lose; you can never win. When you feel inferior you do not enjoy meeting with people. All the fun and excitement of life is taken away from you. Life becomes a series of miserable days in quick succession. This is all, of course, your own doing - and this is purely a self-inflicted misery.

The next thought is about “People like to compare to show off”

Thought 98: Good company makes you good

Every body does Karma (activity). A Jnaani (a very wise person) also does Karma. Even the animals also do Karma. Animals do not change at all. For instance, you may tell a cat not to kill a rat (in Tom and Jerry) because it is Paapam. Even after a year of listening to your sermons, if the cat observes a rat passing by, it immediately pounces on it and kills it. Animals do not change at all. Man is not like that at all. Man changes – if he constantly listens to good things. Listening to good things is called “Satsanga”.

In the Hindu tradition and religion, the importance of good and holy company is strongly underlined. They believe that if you are lucky, you may get many opportunities to spend time in the company of good and holy persons whose thoughts are always focused on God and other holy matters. Such persons are always focused on doing good to the society also. When you spend time in the company of such good and holy persons (Satsanga), you will automatically cultivate some of their ideas. Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa says that the company of good and holy persons gives you peace of mind right away; it also enhances at the same time, your interest in spiritual matters; it puts your mind on godly thoughts; it enhances your yearning for God – all of which is extremely good for you.

When you put colorless water into a coloured bottle, it (the water) appears colored (taking the color of the bottle). This is not the defect (Dosha) of the water – it is the defect (Dosha) of the bottle. In the same way, even if the mind is pure, bad company can pollute the mind. Thus, bad company (Saangatyam) can result in bad thoughts and bad behavior – and good company (Satsaagatyam) can result in good thoughts and good behavior.

Sankaraachaarya said,
“Satsangatye Nissangatyam,
Nissangatye Nirmohatvam,
Nirmohatye Nischala Tattvam,
Nischala Tattve Jivana Mukti,
Bhaja Govindam Bhaja Govindam
Govindam Bhaja Muudhamate
Sampraapte Sannihite Kaale
Nahi Nahi Rakshati Dukrumkarane”

The next thought is about “No Comparisons, No Complexes”

Thought 97: The future cannot be read now

No mater what the astrologers and palmists say, tomorrow is going to be an unknown quantity. In life, you can look into the last page while still on this page – but not into the next page. And, it is most unproductive, and even counter-productive, to ruminate over yesterday. Any amount of pondering over it cannot bring it back for you - to make amendments.

Tomorrow is unknown - and anything unknown is fraught with fear. Tomorrow is a post-dated cheque that cannot be cashed now.

Tomorrow never happens. Today is what matters. Today is like the cash in hand - to be enjoyed. Plan for tomorrow, but live in the present.

The next thought is about “Good company makes you good”

Thought 96: Laughter is the best medicine

I like Relangi, Ramana Reddy, Brahmanandam and Babu Mohan of Tollywood (Telugu movies), Anupam Kher, Mahmood, Johnny Walker, Shaw Rukh Khan of Bollywood (Hindi movies) and Bob Hope, Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, Jerry Lewis of Hollywood (English movies). They want to make you laugh - although not always successfully. Life is meant to be laughed. When you are laughing, you keep on hold, all those things hanging heavy on your mind. It is Lord Byron who said “Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine”.

Humorous persons are my all-time favorites. Humor takes away the stress from any situation; it successfully removes the charge from any charged atmosphere. It endears you to people. It makes you popular at parties.

Learn ten clean jokes. I call them clean jokes, if they do not make fun of a specific individual. Never make personal jokes. No one likes to be at the receiving end of a joke. The victim may smile, but you can be sure, he is seething inside; after all, he is human. If at all you have to make a personal joke, let it be on you.

The next thought is about “The future cannot be read now”

Thought 95: Communication Skills

Communication skills are very important – for everyone. I had seen in some families, the members hardly ever communicate with each other. When you do not communicate properly and adequately, misunderstandings develop. I believe that more communication is better than less communication.

The purpose of communication is to convey a message. This involves both clarity in thinking as well as clarity in expressing - whatever we want to convey.

There are several ways in which we communicate. The most familiar way is through words. But it was discovered recently that words convey only 8% of the message. The rest of the message is conveyed by voice and body language, the contribution of the body language being 86%. Children are generally good in reading the body language.

I have two suggestions for conveying some messages through body language. 1) You should look into the eyes of a persons while talking. 2) Your handshake should be firm. Would you like to add to this list?

The next thought is about “Laughter is the best medicine”

Thought 94: If you want a different result, you have to do differently too

If you want things to happen differently for you, then you must do them differently too. Doing the same old thing and expecting a different result, is not going to get you where you want to be.

Generally, people complain that they are not moving up in their profession, which they deserve. Students usually complain that they are not getting higher grades, which they deserve. Over-weight people complain that they are not reducing in spite of their observing a strict diet control. In all these and similar cases, if you examine, you will find that they are doing the same old thing and are expecting a different result, which is unrealistic.

You will never get a different result if you think and act as you have been thinking and acting as before. Unless you think and act differently, you will continue to languish as before. Change of attitude is the Mantra for you. Get rid of negative thinking or fear. There would be starting troubles, no doubt, but if you persist, you will learn to overcome the starting troubles. Once started thus, you keep going until you get success. You will find several boulders or hurdles along the way barring your progress – and sometimes big ones too. But learn from the flood waters; do as they do. They flow around or over the boulders, when a boulder is found in their way.

Every work place, for instance, is full of politics. If there are any differences in work places, they are only in degree – but not in quality. As a rule, when you move higher and higher in any job, politics become more and more important – and you must learn the tricks of the new game quickly. Identify the power centers and find a way of ingratiating yourself quickly with those power centers. There is nothing undignified in this because that is the ground reality - and that is the way the game is always played; every successful person does that. In this scenario, technical stuff and work efficiency, etc take a beating, frequently. Do not complain if your work does not get recognized even if you believe that you work hard; here, it is not hard work that gets you recognition; it is the smart work. If you do not recognize this reality and change, you will continue to be ignored - while those who you think are not as good as you are, get rewarded in preference to you. Therefore, you have to change your attitude as required - and learn quickly the changed rules of the game. If you cannot change, then, accept what you get. But if you continue working as you have been and complain that you are not getting the recognition that you deserve, it is unrealistic.

Students frequently complain that they are not getting the grades that their hard work deserves. The students must remember that the grades that they get are directly proportional to the input – and the sooner the student realizes this truth, the better it is for him/her. They must find out for themselves that they have been doing the same old wrong thing, semester after semester – and how can they get better grades? If they introspect and find out for themselves what wrong things they were doing and correct themselves, their grades would improve automatically. It is that simple.

Health of an individual, for instance, is very important. Do not ever say, “I am very busy to attend to physical exercise”. Physical exercise has to be done. Do not also say that the exigencies of work do not allow you to observe a proper diet program. Remember that where there is a will, there is a way. Physical workouts and proper diets are very important – especially as you grow older. But if you continue to neglect these two important aspects of your life style and expect that you would continue to be as healthy as before, it is fantasy; it never happens.

Remember, without good health, you will have no energy – not enough good energy that will work for you. Remember also that you are an energy source. Do not dissipate your energy by thinking negatively or putting limitations on yourself. Conserve this energy for productive thinking and productive working. The successful persons learn to use their energy very efficiently – and productively too. You too can discover this. It is no big deal.

The next thought is about “Communication skills”

Thought 93: About rebirth

The theory that there is life after death is slowly gaining acceptance these days, after several reported and verified instances of evidence of continuity of life. Readers Digest reported a long time ago about a Brazilian mechanic, who used to claim that he was a German surgeon in his previous life. He used to perform incredible surgical feats although he never was trained for surgery in this life. Swami Satprakashananda in his book, “How is a Man Reborn”, narrates the case of one Shanti Devi (nine years old) in old Delhi, who had memories of her former life – which were found to be correct.

For most Hindus, Vedas (Upanishads) and what is said in them are sacred; they never question the veracity of the Vedic statements. If the Vedas say that a Jeeva (individual) is born several times before he gains Moksha (birthlessness), a Hindu does not generally ask for any other proof regarding the doctrine of rebirth. The fact that the Vedas have endorsed the rebirth concept is good enough for him.

Also, many people have made some personal observations in their lives. Take for instance, the case of identical twins, who are born in less than one minute of each other, through a caesarian operation on the mother. They may have identical physical features, but their minds are generally completely different and in some cases completely opposite also. The only possible explanation here is that they were carrying their minds, which were completely different, from their previous Janma (birth).

Bhagavaan Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita, that the Jeeva, after death of his present body, gets into a new body. “Vaamsaamsi Jeernaani Yathaa Vihaaya Navaani Grihnaati Naroparaani Tathaa Sareeraani Vihaaya Jeerna Nanyaani Samyaati Navaani Dehi = Arjuna, just as a person casts off his old and worn out clothes and takes up (puts on) others, which are new, in the same way, the indweller of the body, casting off his old and useless bodies, takes different, new bodies”. (2.22)

Every Karma yields a result in the form of Punyam and Paapam to the person who performs it. No Karma ever gets cancelled without yielding a result – in the form of Punyam and Paapam. Since you perform innumerable Karmas in every Janma, you keep gathering Punyam and Paapam constantly in every Janma. The law of Karma says that the accumulated Punyam and Paapam standing in your account must get an opportunity to fructify in a subsequent Janma – if they have not already fructified in the current Janma. Thus, Vedaanta declares that the Punyam and Paapam in your account are responsible for your rebirth in Samsaara (world).

If this is accepted, then, we have to ask ourselves certain questions, which are relevant to the understanding, why a human being is born in a certain way in Samsaara (world). Why is a person born with a particular parentage and not another? Why at a particular place and not another? Why at a particular time and not at another? Why is a person born blind at birth or completely deaf at birth or born with some other physical or mental handicap(s)? Why are all persons not born equally with the same endowments?

Sankaraachaarya, while commenting on the Brahma Suutras (which provide clarifications on what is said in the Upanishads), said “Pratiniyata Desa, Kaala, Nimitta, Kriya, Phala Aasrayasya”. Where you are born (Desa), when you are to be born and when you have to die (Kaala), what should be your parentage in the new Janma (Nimitta), in what Ruupa (form) you are born, including your physical and mental endowments and handicaps (Kriya) and Phala (every one of the experiences that you gain from cradle to grave in the new Janma) are decided for you. You have no choice in this. Who decides all these? The Paramaatma decides. On what basis? On the basis of your own past Karmas. Everything you do - gets into the universal computer in real time and this is the data, based on which, all the relevant details about your next birth are worked out. This is all done automatically by the universal computer based on the Laws of Karma and Dharma. This is how the Paramaatma decides how and when you are born.

We commonly observe that many persons, including those subject to acutely painful and poignant situations, often lament saying, “Why should the Lord be unjust to me? Why should He punish me even though I am his devotee? Perhaps the God is partial. But why would He be partial? All persons are his children only - and that being so, why would He single me out for this kind of punishment?” God does not punish any one. It is the sins that punish people, who commit them. The Saastras say that “Puurva Janma Kritam Paapam Vyaadhi Ruupena Peeditah = the Paapam standing to the credit of a person from his earlier Janmas always result in suffering to him in the form of diseases”. Paapam may give a person certain unwanted or undesirable endowments such as deformed limbs, diseased heart, bad kidneys, and cancer tendencies. Paapam may put a person in a wild and violent or a poor and illiterate family background – which would cause him a lot of unhappiness. On the other hand, Punyam may give a person certain bodily and intellectual endowments like beauty, strength, high IQ. Punyam may also gain him comforts and worldly happiness through good education and affluent parentage. Punyam may also put him in a pious and spiritual family background.

Vedaanta says that it is very difficult to get a human birth. The Maanava Janma (human birth) is very valuable; the human being alone is endowed with Buddhi. He has the choice in action.

When you become qualified for a human birth, Hindu religious wisdom says that people come together into a family for the following reasons:

• To share experiences because they had done similar Karmas earlier
• To give happiness to all or some of the members of the family
• To give unhappiness to all or some of the members of the family
• To pay back a debt
• To receive payment for the earlier debt
• Or because of a mixture of some or all of the above reasons
• When the Vaasanas match, people generally come together into one family

The next thought is about “If you want a different result, you have to do differently too”