Thought 106: Sorrow is Illegitimate

Bahagavad Gita has 18 chapters – and 700 Slokas. The first chapter describes the sorrow (Vishaada) of Arjuna. The rest of the 17 chapters describe the methods of acquiring self-knowledge that solves the problem of sorrow for the human beings.

Every human being is full and adequate - but being deluded by Maayaa, he thinks that he is limited and inadequate. This is the fundamental human problem. When we discover, that we are full and complete, the problem of grief gets resolved automatically. The Bhagavad Gita addresses this human problem of grief.

Gita says that grief is illegitimate – because it is caused by ignorance. Grief is not natural to you. Aananda, which is the opposite of grief, is natural to you. You are not your body-mind complex – you are the Aatma (Awareness) pervading the body-mind complex. There is no sorrow in Aatma and therefore, sorrow does not belong to you. If you mistake, for instance, a rope lying on the road in the darkness of the night for a snake, it is due to ignorance. There really is no snake there. If you see the snake in the rope, it is an illegitimate problem. Similarly, there is no sorrow in the Aatma. If you are sad, then, it certainly is an illegitimate problem.

You cannot get rid of sorrow by any amount of effort. Any amount of action (Karma) cannot rid you of your illegitimate problems; knowledge alone can get rid of illegitimate problems for you. The snake problem, for instance, which was an illegitimate problem, cannot be solved through action, such as beating it with a stick. It can only be solved through knowledge. The moment you focus a torch on the so called the snake, it would disappear - because there was no snake there in the first place; it was only a rope appearing as the snake all along. Similarly, when you discover that you are not the body-mind complex but you are the Aatma, the problem of sorrow would automatically go away. That is all you have to do to get rid of the problem of sorrow, which was bothering you all along.

Thought 105: There is sorrow in Samsaara (world)

There is sorrow in Samsaara (world) – a lot of it. We are willing to experience any amount of happiness – and we never complain about it. We always welcome it enthusiastically. We always want happiness. Unfortunately in Samsaara, we are not served unmixed happiness. If we want happiness, we must also be willing to accept some measure of sorrow also. Happiness and sorrow together are known as Dualities (called Dvandvas in Sanskrit). Dualities like heat and cold, happiness and sorrow do not occur singly. They always occur in pairs; if one occurs, the other is not far behind. However, no one wants sorrow; not even a tiny amount. They welcome, however, any amount of happiness.

In life, we cannot say that we accept only the assets but not the liabilities. You have to accept both assets and liabilities together or none at all. It is the same thing with happiness and sorrow too. The irony of life in Samsaara is that we get a lot more of sorrow and a lot less of happiness than desired. Unfortunately this is the nature of all life on this planet.

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Thought 104: Every problem has a solution

Difficult situations occur in every life; not once, but several times. You may think, every time a difficult situation arises that "this is the end". It is not the end; it is more in the nature of a beginning. The end comes when you solve it.

You will solve every problem; you always did. Did you not? Every problem has a solution for sure (except, of course, the dirty problems). Every solution has a problem too. That is, there are no perfect solutions to any problem. Do the best you can to solve the problem and accept the result, no matter what it is. Input alone is in your control – the result is not. You may or you may not agree, but I think that the result is given by one, who is controlling your destiny. Think calmly at difficult times - and write down your options. If you are optimistic and enthusiastic, and believe in yourself and your God, there is always a way out.

When you allow yourself to get intimidated or overwhelmed by the nature or the dimension of a problem, you become reluctant to face it - and you tend to run away from it. When you run away from a problem, it starts chasing you. Strangely, the problem runs away, when you stop running and start chasing it. So, stop running and start chasing.

Henry Ford (Sr) believed that no problem is so big that it cannot be solved - provided you have the will to solve it. If it is big, break it up into small bits and solve the bit problems, one at a time.

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Thought 103: About Challenging Times

These are challenging times everywhere – especially in India. Challenging times require challenging attitudes. Those who develop these attitudes, survive - and even prosper. Those who cannot muster enough innovative thinking and courage, who let themselves be overwhelmed by circumstances and meekly submit to them, find alibis instead of finding solutions.

But there is always a way out – for any difficulty, however overpowering, it may be. Let me illustrate this by way of a small parable which I stated earlier once. It is worthwhile repeating this story here. A frog one day got caught up in a deep mud pool. Try as it might, it could not come up. Suddenly it saw a young school boy going home from school. It called the boy and said, “Hey, Mac, I seem to have got myself into a difficult situation in this mud pool. Can you take me up – please?” Mac said, “Hang on for a few minutes, Mr Frog. My home is not far off. I will leave my books there, put on my overhauls, would come back in a jiffy and rescue you, OK?” The frog said, “OK, doke, but make it snappy. I am all nerves. I can’t stand this much longer”.

Mac came back as promised in a few minutes, but to his utter surprise, he found the froggie on the top of the mud-pool, singing away merrily. Mac asked the frog, “Hey, what happened? It was only a few minutes ago you were so helplessly caught up in this mud-pool. How did you manage to come up in these few minutes?” Thereupon, the frog smiled and said, “You see Mac, as soon as you went away, a great big snake came along - and I HAD TO GET OUT.

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Thought 102: Have tolerance for some imperfection

Perfectionists worry themselves excessively, if they do not achieve the ideal solution. They are unhappy if they do not see the ideal behavior in their relationships, both, in their private lives as well as in their work places. They cannot accept partial solutions. They are most uncomfortable, if they do not get 100% successes or 100% solutions to all their problems. They torture themselves for a thing that they also realize that they cannot obtain in practice. Yet, they allow themselves to suffer incessantly. They get pricked constantly inside. They have no internal peace and happiness.

Imperfections are inherent in Nature. As long as the world exists, there will be imperfections - and struggles and changes.

Do try your best to overcome imperfections in yourself. While doing so, accept yourself as you are. If you succeed in getting rid of an imperfection, others will come to surface – a solved imperfection would never leave a vacuum behind. A new imperfection would instantly surface in its place. Overcome them too and do not complain if you cannot overcome them.

Imperfections drive you and the society to change. “A static society is a condition of arrested development”. There must be always be a force, which drives you to change for the better. That is why “opposition” and “competition” are welcomed.

Unless you are willing to be practical and tolerate imperfection in yourself as also in others, you will be constantly burning inside. Worrying about imperfection will only be adding to your inventory of "dirty" problems. This worry is a self-inflicted distress and it contributes heavily to the poor quality of your life.

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Thought 101: Aim at Perfection but settle for what is practicable

Some persons are so obsessed with perfection that they start agonizing over not finding it. Of course, they cannot find perfection here – because this is an imperfect world. In the real world, everything exists as an amalgam – of good and bad, of pure and impure, of superior and inferior, of decent and indecent, of excellent and non-excellent, of sincere and insincere, of honest and dishonest, etc.

You may aim at “perfection” - but be willing to settle for “what is possible”. You may be excellent - but tolerate others who are not.

"Every problem has a solution but every solution also has a problem", says Dr Robert Anthony. There is no such thing as a perfect solution to any problem.

In a real world situation, there is no such thing as perfection or excellence. "Perfection and excellence are only journeys but not destinations - you never reach there" says, Brian Tracy. We know that theoretically, there are "absolute zero", "perfect vacuum" and "ideal gas". We also know that we cannot hope to attain any of them to the theoretically predicted value. We can only reach to some thing very close to the theoretically predicted limit, but not exactly to the predicted value.

The fact that you cannot achieve perfection or excellence, should not stop you from aiming at them. "If you aim at a golden frock, you may get a sleeve of it", said Oliver Goldsmith, the noted English poet. Just because you know that you cannot get it, you should not stop aiming at the ideal. There will be no progress, if you stop aiming at the ideal.

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Thought 100: People like to compare to show off

People, however, are very much prone to compare but when they do so, more often than not, they do so for the purpose of showing off. People get a peculiar pleasure, if you admire them for something that they have – and which you do not have. This is human nature – and perhaps, you may call it more appropriately, a human failing. People welcome any opportunity for getting this admiration from their fellow beings. This is how ego manifests itself. Haven’t you seen the 'nouveau riche' driving their big shiny Mercedes slowly in front of your house? We accept it with a smile, because we do not mind, if people feel good when they attain success. A little social recognition is in order – especially, when a person does so well in life. It is a legitimate yearning, which is understood. In the Maslow model, social recognition figures as a good motivator of behavior, after their physical and security needs are satisfied.

What is not acceptable, however, is the vulgar display of wealth - especially in poor neighborhoods, as it frequently happens in any country. You may get a kick out of showing off, but to those deprived of even the basic necessities of life, this is like twisting the knife in the wound. This makes those not so fortunate, boil - especially, if they suspect that, this is an ill-gotten wealth, obtained by shameless exploitation of the weaker sections of the society. These are the seemingly trivial episodes that spark revolutions.

There is, of course, the flip side of the coin also. You find a colleague or a neighbor, having something, which you do not have. You feel that you must have even something better, "to teach them a sharp lesson". This is jealousy in its pristine form. You have to have it, no matter what it takes to get it. That you cannot afford it - is no consideration. Have you not seen families getting into debt just to satisfy extravagant whims of this nature?

People given to extravagant habits think that they are going to be happy when their whims and fancies are gratified. The truth is that they can never be happy; no pursuit based on such negative thinking can ever lead to happiness.

When you exhibit your wealth in this manner, your main aim is not happiness. You wish to make someone else unhappy and want to feel pleased over that. You can never be peaceful and happy on that foundation. The situation becomes even worse when you do these comparisons with the very rich or the very highly talented persons. You have no earthly chance of ever matching them in anything, because the differential involved is really huge and can never be bridged. There is no possibility at all of ever coming up to their level. You also know that. And yet, you are unable to keep those thoughts away. You are, of course, distancing yourself from your happiness by these comparisons.

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