Thought 66: What a person says is not so important than what motivated him to say that

Most people are interested in themselves; they have an agenda of their own. There is nothing wrong in this. If you do not look after your own interests, no one else will do that for you.

In the pursuit of this agenda, some people talk to you sweetly, as if they are very much interested in your welfare - while in reality, it is part of a plan to further their own interests. They flatter you directly sometimes and subtly some other times. Be wary when any one flatters you; in all probability, he wants something from you. Most people mistake these flatterers as their well-wishers and would immediately want to reward their supposedly good gesture in some way. As a rule, these are not your well-wishers – although there may be exceptions to this rule.

No one always does the right things or does a thing right. Sometimes, we do the wrong things or we do a thing wrongly. People may or may not notice this fact. Even if they notice, they do not like to tell you that you have done the wrong thing or you are doing a thing wrongly. It is not a good policy to point out the mistakes of others. First, it may offend them because their ego gets hurt – and this is not exactly the way to get endeared to them. Secondly, it does not promote your interests in any way.

Having understood that, do not also immediately react when some persons point out where you go wrong. This person probably means well – and he has your interests uppermost in his mind. He is speaking frankly and he is not overly concerned, even if you were to misunderstand him for speaking frankly.

It is against this background, I say that what people say to you is not so important - what motivated them to say that is more important. If a person points out your mistakes, either he wants to hurt you or he is genuinely interested in you. Here, a judgment is involved. Make the right judgment. If this person, in your judgment, is honest and sincere, trust him - and take his advice seriously. You do not find many sincere well-wishers of this type in this world.

The next thought is about “What defines a person?”