Thought 108: Seeking happiness (continued)

What is the nature of this happiness that we have been seeking constantly? Do we want to be happy during early morning - and not bother about it the rest of the day. No. Do we want to be happy the whole day, today or tomorrow; or the whole of the next year? No. We want to be happy every moment starting right now and for ever afterwards. We seek eternal happiness. That is our real goal.

If we are happy in one place today and more happy at some other place tomorrow, we like the second place much better. If we find another place, which is even happier than the second, we want that only - and not the earlier ones. It is so with objects and persons. Thus, we not only want the eternal happiness - but we also want the maximum happiness. For this purpose, we seek changes in time, circumstances, people, objects, status, or all of them together to gain maximum happiness. By changing all of them, our desire for happiness does not end. It will only end when we get the eternal and maximum happiness. Where is this eternal and maximum happiness?

If this happiness is in an object, then every one must find the same object giving him equally maximum happiness. For instance, it is the nature of sugar to be sweet; every particle of sugar is sweet. Does this happiness reside in a car? If it is the nature of the car to give happiness, then every car must give equal happiness to every one. If you have a Maruti car, however, you want a luxury car like Benz. Is it not? If you have a Benz car, you are still not happy. For instance, my daughter had a craving for an “Infinity” car but she does not like it any more. She wants a Lexus, which is even more expensive and luxurious. Her children want an auto ricksha! They come to India anticipating a ride in an auto riksha; or even better, in a cycle riksha. If we take them in a car, they do not like it – they do not find happiness in it!

Everyone wants to be happy; no one wants to be unhappy. Thus, most of us seek to become happy through families and friends, in successful careers, in social life, in gourmet foods, in gambling, in sports, in liquor, in women, in tranquilizers, in drugs and in many other similar objects and activities, which comprise man’s unending quest for happiness. Some others seek happiness in politics, in arts, in business, in academics or in research studies, in hobbies, in philanthropy, in welfare work, and so on.

Every day, research finds more and more about how the human mind and body function. The scientific material available in the modern high technological age about man’s body and mind far outstrips that of all previous generations. And yet, is man any the happier today. Far from that. In fact, technology has spoiled man so much that more technology would only make him a slave of modern comforts and temptations. If so, what is the solution to this problem of the modern generations?

The basic problem of man in his search for happiness is that his sources of pleasure and happiness are very limited. The most fundamental sources of the pleasures for man are food, liquor and sex. But these can only occupy a few moments (limited hours) of his daily life. After that, the bodies and mind thwart all our efforts to enjoy more of the same. After all, you can only eat so much before you either feel disgusted with food; if not disgusted, you will certainly become ill from continuous wrong eating or continuous overeating.

Man’s fascination for new products of enjoyment will end only – when he would seek more fundamental sources of happiness. This is what happened to the Beatles, to the Rolling stones and many other celebrities of the Hollywood, Bollywood, etc. They had everything going nicely for them – and yet, they were very unhappy persons. They discovered in the end that the Yoga from revered Gurus in India could give them some happiness. There are any number of examples of rich and famous persons from Europe and the American continent thronging to Putaparti in Andhra Pradesh, India, where there is the Prashanti Nilayam and Sai Baaba – to seek peace and happiness, which their riches and technologically advanced counties could not provide.

The next thought is “About happiness and unhappiness”

Thought 108: Seeking happiness

Each of one of us apparently seems to have a different goal. One wants to become a doctor; another, an engineer; another person a fashion designer; yet another a film star; some other person may want to be a good cricketer; another young person may want to be a pop singer; and this list goes on and on. Almost all of us want to become rich and famous – through the pursuit of these different goals (professions).

Thus, the common goal for all persons is apparently the money and fame – although they may not realize this fact. In fact, money and fame are also not their ultimate goal. They want money and fame to feel secure - and be happy. Thus, in reality, in and through all their different pursuits, what people really want is security and happiness. This is the common goal of all human beings.

People, however, think that security and happiness reside in “this” or in “that” profession - and therefore, they make those “professions” their goal. This desire for security and happiness translated into the desire for various professions (or objects or situations or relationships) would never end.

We are born with this desire for happiness. We have been searching from times immemorial for this happiness all over the world - and yet we have not found it. Still, we keep searching for this elusive happiness. Can we not give up this quest for happiness? No, never; it is not possible – because we are not happy being unhappy. The search for happiness presupposes an existing state of dissatisfaction or sorrow or unhappiness, to get rid of which, we want to acquire money or fame or this object or that object.

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Thought 107: You covet what the other person has and you do not have

Man always “wants” – something or the other. His “wants” begin the very instant he comes into this world; he wants milk as soon as he is born and starts yelling for it. These “wants” drive all of us all through our lives.

It is a common human failing to compare yourself with others - with neighbors, with friends, with colleagues, with relatives, with peers and so on. You compare either to derive pleasure that you have something, which others do not have or feel unhappy that you do not have something which others have. When you show off what you have, you are pleased, no doubt, for sometime, but this pleasure does not last long. Very soon you will discover some else has a better quality or better technology device than what you have; and that is the beginning of misery for you. What you want is what others have; this longing lasts until you are able to get what the other person has, no matter how long it takes.

What we have does not seem to give us as much pleasure as - when we get what we do not have and the other person has. What we do not have is a better motivator, than what we have. When we want what we do not have, there is an anticipation - and they say that there is always more pleasure in anticipation than in realization.

We always compare what we have with what others have or do not have. I was discussing this topic one day at dinner time. My daughter Sashi asked me, "But, father, if you do not compare, how can you progress further? Where is the incentive for you to achieve anything in life?" Very interesting question, indeed.

It is true that unless you compare, you do not know what you do not have - and what you do not have is the motivator for you. It is only then that you put the right effort for earning what you do not have. In fact, wages in the corporate world or government institutions are negotiated frequently on this basis. They compare the wages of employees doing similar work in different institutions - and the labor unions want higher wages on this basis and the employers point out several differentials to refute the validity of the comparison. If comparisons serve a positive purpose and motivate you to better enterprise, effort and creativity, go for it. Unfortunately, people do not compare for such positive purposes.

The next thought is about “Seeking happiness”

Thought 106: Sorrow is Illegitimate

Bahagavad Gita has 18 chapters – and 700 Slokas. The first chapter describes the sorrow (Vishaada) of Arjuna. The rest of the 17 chapters describe the methods of acquiring self-knowledge that solves the problem of sorrow for the human beings.

Every human being is full and adequate - but being deluded by Maayaa, he thinks that he is limited and inadequate. This is the fundamental human problem. When we discover, that we are full and complete, the problem of grief gets resolved automatically. The Bhagavad Gita addresses this human problem of grief.

Gita says that grief is illegitimate – because it is caused by ignorance. Grief is not natural to you. Aananda, which is the opposite of grief, is natural to you. You are not your body-mind complex – you are the Aatma (Awareness) pervading the body-mind complex. There is no sorrow in Aatma and therefore, sorrow does not belong to you. If you mistake, for instance, a rope lying on the road in the darkness of the night for a snake, it is due to ignorance. There really is no snake there. If you see the snake in the rope, it is an illegitimate problem. Similarly, there is no sorrow in the Aatma. If you are sad, then, it certainly is an illegitimate problem.

You cannot get rid of sorrow by any amount of effort. Any amount of action (Karma) cannot rid you of your illegitimate problems; knowledge alone can get rid of illegitimate problems for you. The snake problem, for instance, which was an illegitimate problem, cannot be solved through action, such as beating it with a stick. It can only be solved through knowledge. The moment you focus a torch on the so called the snake, it would disappear - because there was no snake there in the first place; it was only a rope appearing as the snake all along. Similarly, when you discover that you are not the body-mind complex but you are the Aatma, the problem of sorrow would automatically go away. That is all you have to do to get rid of the problem of sorrow, which was bothering you all along.

Thought 105: There is sorrow in Samsaara (world)

There is sorrow in Samsaara (world) – a lot of it. We are willing to experience any amount of happiness – and we never complain about it. We always welcome it enthusiastically. We always want happiness. Unfortunately in Samsaara, we are not served unmixed happiness. If we want happiness, we must also be willing to accept some measure of sorrow also. Happiness and sorrow together are known as Dualities (called Dvandvas in Sanskrit). Dualities like heat and cold, happiness and sorrow do not occur singly. They always occur in pairs; if one occurs, the other is not far behind. However, no one wants sorrow; not even a tiny amount. They welcome, however, any amount of happiness.

In life, we cannot say that we accept only the assets but not the liabilities. You have to accept both assets and liabilities together or none at all. It is the same thing with happiness and sorrow too. The irony of life in Samsaara is that we get a lot more of sorrow and a lot less of happiness than desired. Unfortunately this is the nature of all life on this planet.

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Thought 104: Every problem has a solution

Difficult situations occur in every life; not once, but several times. You may think, every time a difficult situation arises that "this is the end". It is not the end; it is more in the nature of a beginning. The end comes when you solve it.

You will solve every problem; you always did. Did you not? Every problem has a solution for sure (except, of course, the dirty problems). Every solution has a problem too. That is, there are no perfect solutions to any problem. Do the best you can to solve the problem and accept the result, no matter what it is. Input alone is in your control – the result is not. You may or you may not agree, but I think that the result is given by one, who is controlling your destiny. Think calmly at difficult times - and write down your options. If you are optimistic and enthusiastic, and believe in yourself and your God, there is always a way out.

When you allow yourself to get intimidated or overwhelmed by the nature or the dimension of a problem, you become reluctant to face it - and you tend to run away from it. When you run away from a problem, it starts chasing you. Strangely, the problem runs away, when you stop running and start chasing it. So, stop running and start chasing.

Henry Ford (Sr) believed that no problem is so big that it cannot be solved - provided you have the will to solve it. If it is big, break it up into small bits and solve the bit problems, one at a time.

The next thought is about “There is sorrow in Samsaara (world)”

Thought 103: About Challenging Times

These are challenging times everywhere – especially in India. Challenging times require challenging attitudes. Those who develop these attitudes, survive - and even prosper. Those who cannot muster enough innovative thinking and courage, who let themselves be overwhelmed by circumstances and meekly submit to them, find alibis instead of finding solutions.

But there is always a way out – for any difficulty, however overpowering, it may be. Let me illustrate this by way of a small parable which I stated earlier once. It is worthwhile repeating this story here. A frog one day got caught up in a deep mud pool. Try as it might, it could not come up. Suddenly it saw a young school boy going home from school. It called the boy and said, “Hey, Mac, I seem to have got myself into a difficult situation in this mud pool. Can you take me up – please?” Mac said, “Hang on for a few minutes, Mr Frog. My home is not far off. I will leave my books there, put on my overhauls, would come back in a jiffy and rescue you, OK?” The frog said, “OK, doke, but make it snappy. I am all nerves. I can’t stand this much longer”.

Mac came back as promised in a few minutes, but to his utter surprise, he found the froggie on the top of the mud-pool, singing away merrily. Mac asked the frog, “Hey, what happened? It was only a few minutes ago you were so helplessly caught up in this mud-pool. How did you manage to come up in these few minutes?” Thereupon, the frog smiled and said, “You see Mac, as soon as you went away, a great big snake came along - and I HAD TO GET OUT.

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Thought 102: Have tolerance for some imperfection

Perfectionists worry themselves excessively, if they do not achieve the ideal solution. They are unhappy if they do not see the ideal behavior in their relationships, both, in their private lives as well as in their work places. They cannot accept partial solutions. They are most uncomfortable, if they do not get 100% successes or 100% solutions to all their problems. They torture themselves for a thing that they also realize that they cannot obtain in practice. Yet, they allow themselves to suffer incessantly. They get pricked constantly inside. They have no internal peace and happiness.

Imperfections are inherent in Nature. As long as the world exists, there will be imperfections - and struggles and changes.

Do try your best to overcome imperfections in yourself. While doing so, accept yourself as you are. If you succeed in getting rid of an imperfection, others will come to surface – a solved imperfection would never leave a vacuum behind. A new imperfection would instantly surface in its place. Overcome them too and do not complain if you cannot overcome them.

Imperfections drive you and the society to change. “A static society is a condition of arrested development”. There must be always be a force, which drives you to change for the better. That is why “opposition” and “competition” are welcomed.

Unless you are willing to be practical and tolerate imperfection in yourself as also in others, you will be constantly burning inside. Worrying about imperfection will only be adding to your inventory of "dirty" problems. This worry is a self-inflicted distress and it contributes heavily to the poor quality of your life.

The next thought is “About the challenging times”

Thought 101: Aim at Perfection but settle for what is practicable

Some persons are so obsessed with perfection that they start agonizing over not finding it. Of course, they cannot find perfection here – because this is an imperfect world. In the real world, everything exists as an amalgam – of good and bad, of pure and impure, of superior and inferior, of decent and indecent, of excellent and non-excellent, of sincere and insincere, of honest and dishonest, etc.

You may aim at “perfection” - but be willing to settle for “what is possible”. You may be excellent - but tolerate others who are not.

"Every problem has a solution but every solution also has a problem", says Dr Robert Anthony. There is no such thing as a perfect solution to any problem.

In a real world situation, there is no such thing as perfection or excellence. "Perfection and excellence are only journeys but not destinations - you never reach there" says, Brian Tracy. We know that theoretically, there are "absolute zero", "perfect vacuum" and "ideal gas". We also know that we cannot hope to attain any of them to the theoretically predicted value. We can only reach to some thing very close to the theoretically predicted limit, but not exactly to the predicted value.

The fact that you cannot achieve perfection or excellence, should not stop you from aiming at them. "If you aim at a golden frock, you may get a sleeve of it", said Oliver Goldsmith, the noted English poet. Just because you know that you cannot get it, you should not stop aiming at the ideal. There will be no progress, if you stop aiming at the ideal.

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