Thought 188: Greed makes you shameless

Unless you put in the bank first, you cannot withdraw. This is more so in human relationships. Overdrafts are rarely allowed in human relationships. In human relationships, there are no one-way streets also. This is understood very well by every adult – although a child may not understand and conform to such adult norms.

A child is usually very selfish – and greedy. The child takes everything from the parents (society) without contributing anything to the society and the society readily grants whatever the child wants. But the society scorns at the grownups when they indulge in a child-like behavior - prompted by greed and selfishness.

Greedy persons try to take everything they can get freely from others. They do not mind what others think of them; greed makes them immune to shame. I know one woman who took away all the jewelry of her mother (when mother passed away suddenly), which she should have shared equally with her sibling. She also had hidden all the legal papers relating to the family property when the father died a few years later– and quietly took a power of Attorney from the sibling ostensibly with honest intentions, but actually she had no real intention of sharing the family property also (such as house sites, stocks, buildings) with the other lawful claimant. All property disputes between children when the parents are gone are of this nature only. This is what Duryodhana did to the Paandavas.

The next thought is about “You were programmed as a child”

Thought 187: Tough times do not last, tough guys do

You can handle happiness all by yourself - you do not need outside help for this. But people flock to you at these times, like the flies on the sweets in a sweets shop in India, with offers of unsolicited help. When adversity visits you, however, you could do with some outside help; you could do with some moral support at least. It is at such times that people avoid you scrupulously. They do not want any part of you. You are severely left alone - to manage the difficult times all by yourself. Some may even gloat, saying, "at last he got what he should have got long ago".

It is at these times that persons with no moral and ethical values break down. They get into self-pity mode. Some persons may even get into depressions. But those with values in life, remain unperturbed even during the toughest times. The five Paandava kings showed us (in Mahaabhaarat) by their calm behavior during all the 14 years they were forced to spend in jungles - when their kingdom was usurped by their crooked cousin, Duryodhana. The Paandavas faced tough times with “a Prayer, positive thinking and patience”(the three P’s formula of Sashi, my daughter)

Thoughtful parents do their best to instill values in their children. Values build character and strength. When you have character and strength, it is not too difficult to go through tough times.

The next thought is about “There are no overdrafts in human relationships”

Thought 186: You like to hear good things said about you

It is a common human failing to hear good things said about oneself – and never hear bad things said about oneself. My former boss, Brigadier Chakravarti used to say, "If you have to talk about me at all, talk good things about me. You make sure that you talk well about me - to someone who will convey to me all those good things you said about me. At best, I would hear about it and like you immensely. At worst, I will probably suspect that you are flattering me for a purpose. But I cannot do anything to you when you talk good about me. I certainly can't be unpleasant to you because you are talking well of me! You see how helpless people become when you talk well of them". This is a very profound statement.

He also added, "But if you have to talk ill about me, only talk to yourself and not in front of any other person, however close he is to you today. These things have a way of coming back to me". I asked him, "What happens if they come back to you? How do you react? Would you believe what you hear?" He said, "You know people are like elephants - they have big ears but small eyes. After all, remember, I am also human, like any one else. When the opportunity comes, naturally, I will fix you!"

The next thought is about “Tough times do not last, tough guys do”