Thought 170: If you want to gain something, you must be prepared to lose something else.

The Mahaa Bhaarat battle was about to start. Arjuna’s chariot was placed between the two opposing armies. After seeing Bhishma, Drona and other close relatives and well-wishers, Arjuna became very despondent – and depressed. How could he kill such noble and venerable persons? If he does not kill them, he cannot win the war – claim his rightful kingdom, which Duryodhana annexed and would not give back without a fight. What should he do in such a situation?

The impending war taught Arjuna that in the relative world, any gain must also involve a loss. By fighting, he would gain his kingdom, but would lose his family. By fleeing the battlefield, he would save his loved ones, but he must sacrifice his fame, which he built up so painstakingly over a life time.

Such conflicting situations arise in every life.

For instance, I was offered an opportunity to become the deputy director of National Laboratory at Delhi in charge of electronic testing – a very prestigious office. At that time, my three sons, Srinath, Vijay and Rajanikanth, were studying engineering courses – at Mysore/Suratkal. Thammu (my foster son) was still in middle school and Sashi, my daughter, was in Intermediate class (12th standard) at Bangalore. Should I accept this offer and shift the last two children to Delhi at this stage?

I felt that shifting Sashi and Thammu to schools/colleges at Delhi was going to disrupt their education to some extent – apart from going too far away from Mysore and Suratkal, where the other children were studying. I felt that Srinath, Vijay and Rajanikanth needed me to be nearer – no more than a night’s journey away from their colleges.

I declined the offer, since I felt that the proper education of my children was a higher priority to me than the advancement of my career. Later, the same office was elevated as the Secretary General in the department of electronics in the government of India – a more prestigious post. However I never regretted my decision. I was also offered the top most place in the Institute of Packaging at Bombay – and I also declined it for the same reasons.

In general, if you want to gain something, you must be prepared to lose something else.

Either of the above conflicting options could be equally wrong or equally right. Since we know that every decision has consequences, we must be prepared for the consequences of either of the options. In such situations, we must be prepared to lose something, if our decision turns out to be wrong. A wavering mind never gains anything, other than unnecessary agony to self and others in the family. Be decisive and take responsibility for your decisions.

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