Thought 103: About Challenging Times

These are challenging times everywhere – especially in India. Challenging times require challenging attitudes. Those who develop these attitudes, survive - and even prosper. Those who cannot muster enough innovative thinking and courage, who let themselves be overwhelmed by circumstances and meekly submit to them, find alibis instead of finding solutions.

But there is always a way out – for any difficulty, however overpowering, it may be. Let me illustrate this by way of a small parable which I stated earlier once. It is worthwhile repeating this story here. A frog one day got caught up in a deep mud pool. Try as it might, it could not come up. Suddenly it saw a young school boy going home from school. It called the boy and said, “Hey, Mac, I seem to have got myself into a difficult situation in this mud pool. Can you take me up – please?” Mac said, “Hang on for a few minutes, Mr Frog. My home is not far off. I will leave my books there, put on my overhauls, would come back in a jiffy and rescue you, OK?” The frog said, “OK, doke, but make it snappy. I am all nerves. I can’t stand this much longer”.

Mac came back as promised in a few minutes, but to his utter surprise, he found the froggie on the top of the mud-pool, singing away merrily. Mac asked the frog, “Hey, what happened? It was only a few minutes ago you were so helplessly caught up in this mud-pool. How did you manage to come up in these few minutes?” Thereupon, the frog smiled and said, “You see Mac, as soon as you went away, a great big snake came along - and I HAD TO GET OUT.

The next thought is about “Every problem has a solution”

Thought 102: Have tolerance for some imperfection

Perfectionists worry themselves excessively, if they do not achieve the ideal solution. They are unhappy if they do not see the ideal behavior in their relationships, both, in their private lives as well as in their work places. They cannot accept partial solutions. They are most uncomfortable, if they do not get 100% successes or 100% solutions to all their problems. They torture themselves for a thing that they also realize that they cannot obtain in practice. Yet, they allow themselves to suffer incessantly. They get pricked constantly inside. They have no internal peace and happiness.

Imperfections are inherent in Nature. As long as the world exists, there will be imperfections - and struggles and changes.

Do try your best to overcome imperfections in yourself. While doing so, accept yourself as you are. If you succeed in getting rid of an imperfection, others will come to surface – a solved imperfection would never leave a vacuum behind. A new imperfection would instantly surface in its place. Overcome them too and do not complain if you cannot overcome them.

Imperfections drive you and the society to change. “A static society is a condition of arrested development”. There must be always be a force, which drives you to change for the better. That is why “opposition” and “competition” are welcomed.

Unless you are willing to be practical and tolerate imperfection in yourself as also in others, you will be constantly burning inside. Worrying about imperfection will only be adding to your inventory of "dirty" problems. This worry is a self-inflicted distress and it contributes heavily to the poor quality of your life.

The next thought is “About the challenging times”

Thought 101: Aim at Perfection but settle for what is practicable

Some persons are so obsessed with perfection that they start agonizing over not finding it. Of course, they cannot find perfection here – because this is an imperfect world. In the real world, everything exists as an amalgam – of good and bad, of pure and impure, of superior and inferior, of decent and indecent, of excellent and non-excellent, of sincere and insincere, of honest and dishonest, etc.

You may aim at “perfection” - but be willing to settle for “what is possible”. You may be excellent - but tolerate others who are not.

"Every problem has a solution but every solution also has a problem", says Dr Robert Anthony. There is no such thing as a perfect solution to any problem.

In a real world situation, there is no such thing as perfection or excellence. "Perfection and excellence are only journeys but not destinations - you never reach there" says, Brian Tracy. We know that theoretically, there are "absolute zero", "perfect vacuum" and "ideal gas". We also know that we cannot hope to attain any of them to the theoretically predicted value. We can only reach to some thing very close to the theoretically predicted limit, but not exactly to the predicted value.

The fact that you cannot achieve perfection or excellence, should not stop you from aiming at them. "If you aim at a golden frock, you may get a sleeve of it", said Oliver Goldsmith, the noted English poet. Just because you know that you cannot get it, you should not stop aiming at the ideal. There will be no progress, if you stop aiming at the ideal.

The next thought is about “Have tolerance for some imperfection”

Thought 100: People like to compare to show off

People, however, are very much prone to compare but when they do so, more often than not, they do so for the purpose of showing off. People get a peculiar pleasure, if you admire them for something that they have – and which you do not have. This is human nature – and perhaps, you may call it more appropriately, a human failing. People welcome any opportunity for getting this admiration from their fellow beings. This is how ego manifests itself. Haven’t you seen the 'nouveau riche' driving their big shiny Mercedes slowly in front of your house? We accept it with a smile, because we do not mind, if people feel good when they attain success. A little social recognition is in order – especially, when a person does so well in life. It is a legitimate yearning, which is understood. In the Maslow model, social recognition figures as a good motivator of behavior, after their physical and security needs are satisfied.

What is not acceptable, however, is the vulgar display of wealth - especially in poor neighborhoods, as it frequently happens in any country. You may get a kick out of showing off, but to those deprived of even the basic necessities of life, this is like twisting the knife in the wound. This makes those not so fortunate, boil - especially, if they suspect that, this is an ill-gotten wealth, obtained by shameless exploitation of the weaker sections of the society. These are the seemingly trivial episodes that spark revolutions.

There is, of course, the flip side of the coin also. You find a colleague or a neighbor, having something, which you do not have. You feel that you must have even something better, "to teach them a sharp lesson". This is jealousy in its pristine form. You have to have it, no matter what it takes to get it. That you cannot afford it - is no consideration. Have you not seen families getting into debt just to satisfy extravagant whims of this nature?

People given to extravagant habits think that they are going to be happy when their whims and fancies are gratified. The truth is that they can never be happy; no pursuit based on such negative thinking can ever lead to happiness.

When you exhibit your wealth in this manner, your main aim is not happiness. You wish to make someone else unhappy and want to feel pleased over that. You can never be peaceful and happy on that foundation. The situation becomes even worse when you do these comparisons with the very rich or the very highly talented persons. You have no earthly chance of ever matching them in anything, because the differential involved is really huge and can never be bridged. There is no possibility at all of ever coming up to their level. You also know that. And yet, you are unable to keep those thoughts away. You are, of course, distancing yourself from your happiness by these comparisons.

The next thought is about “Aim at Perfection but settle for what is practicable”

Thought 99: No Comparisons, No Complexes

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You also have strengths and weaknesses. All of us have to realize this fact and appreciate that, no one - absolutely no one - has only strengths and no weaknesses at all; and similarly, no one has only weaknesses and no strengths at all. Some will have more strengths than weaknesses and others will have more weaknesses than strengths. These strengths as well as weaknesses need not be in the same areas for all persons; in fact, they are never. God has not created this world on the basis of equality. No two individuals, seldom have identical strengths and weaknesses. The finger prints of individuals is a good example of this truth.

Frequently, we get into complexes without our knowledge. Take a student - call him student "A". He may be good at sports but his grades in maths are poor. Because of his interest in sports, he is always in good health and physical fitness. He feels good and he has a good temperament. There is another student - call him student "B" - in the same class. "B" has always been getting good grades in maths, but he does not care for games and sports. His physical health is nothing to write home about. He has a bad temperament too; he is irritable and snaps at you at the least provocation.

If "A" were to compare with "B" in maths skills, he is buying himself a one way ticket to inferiority complex. He is forgetting that he has strengths too - in areas wherein "B" is weak. If he has to compare at all, he should do so in all areas, in fairness to himself, so that the balance and perspective are never lost. Is it not a familiar scenario? Have you not done this? Several good students suffer agony and become miserable, not because they do not have any talent for studies, but because, they think that they do not have the talent, on account of such ill-conceived comparisons. When you compare your weakness with someone else's strength, you are bound to feel inferior. If this is allowed to become a habit, you get an inferiority complex.

Comparisons are indeed odious. If you think that you are no good and you are born to lose; you can never win. When you feel inferior you do not enjoy meeting with people. All the fun and excitement of life is taken away from you. Life becomes a series of miserable days in quick succession. This is all, of course, your own doing - and this is purely a self-inflicted misery.

The next thought is about “People like to compare to show off”

Thought 98: Good company makes you good

Every body does Karma (activity). A Jnaani (a very wise person) also does Karma. Even the animals also do Karma. Animals do not change at all. For instance, you may tell a cat not to kill a rat (in Tom and Jerry) because it is Paapam. Even after a year of listening to your sermons, if the cat observes a rat passing by, it immediately pounces on it and kills it. Animals do not change at all. Man is not like that at all. Man changes – if he constantly listens to good things. Listening to good things is called “Satsanga”.

In the Hindu tradition and religion, the importance of good and holy company is strongly underlined. They believe that if you are lucky, you may get many opportunities to spend time in the company of good and holy persons whose thoughts are always focused on God and other holy matters. Such persons are always focused on doing good to the society also. When you spend time in the company of such good and holy persons (Satsanga), you will automatically cultivate some of their ideas. Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa says that the company of good and holy persons gives you peace of mind right away; it also enhances at the same time, your interest in spiritual matters; it puts your mind on godly thoughts; it enhances your yearning for God – all of which is extremely good for you.

When you put colorless water into a coloured bottle, it (the water) appears colored (taking the color of the bottle). This is not the defect (Dosha) of the water – it is the defect (Dosha) of the bottle. In the same way, even if the mind is pure, bad company can pollute the mind. Thus, bad company (Saangatyam) can result in bad thoughts and bad behavior – and good company (Satsaagatyam) can result in good thoughts and good behavior.

Sankaraachaarya said,
“Satsangatye Nissangatyam,
Nissangatye Nirmohatvam,
Nirmohatye Nischala Tattvam,
Nischala Tattve Jivana Mukti,
Bhaja Govindam Bhaja Govindam
Govindam Bhaja Muudhamate
Sampraapte Sannihite Kaale
Nahi Nahi Rakshati Dukrumkarane”

The next thought is about “No Comparisons, No Complexes”

Thought 97: The future cannot be read now

No mater what the astrologers and palmists say, tomorrow is going to be an unknown quantity. In life, you can look into the last page while still on this page – but not into the next page. And, it is most unproductive, and even counter-productive, to ruminate over yesterday. Any amount of pondering over it cannot bring it back for you - to make amendments.

Tomorrow is unknown - and anything unknown is fraught with fear. Tomorrow is a post-dated cheque that cannot be cashed now.

Tomorrow never happens. Today is what matters. Today is like the cash in hand - to be enjoyed. Plan for tomorrow, but live in the present.

The next thought is about “Good company makes you good”