THought 148: Seeking Approval

There is nothing wrong in enjoying a little compliment, an affectionate pat on the back and a little bit of applause from time to time, says Dr Wayne Dyer. You do want to be thought of well by your bosses, spouses, children, neighbors, colleagues, friends, peers and relatives. You feel good and you like to do things, which please them. But, when seeking approval of persons constantly becomes a compulsion, it sets up a stress for you. You are always anxious to please them and feel worried that you may not have done enough in this regard. At times, you may feel concerned with disapproval. This sets up more stress for you.

Every one has an agenda of his own – and they want you to do things or behave in a way to promote their agenda; they are not at all interested in your agenda. If you do not do what they want you to do, they show their disapproval – which is designed in a subtle manner to make you feel uncomfortable or upset.

When you try to please others habitually, you are being controlled by them. By withholding approval, they have the power to modify your behavior. You have given them this power. If seeking approval becomes a habit, you lose your self-confidence and self-esteem. You can gain your power back only when you start doing things to please your self and not others. You can get rid of your stress when “what others think of you” becomes a thing of no consequence and what you think of yourself becomes important.

The sooner you realize that you can never please every one, no matter what you do and that you can never get rid of their disapproval, the better for you.

The next thought is about “What is decency”