Thought 183: Every culture has its rules

The rules of Dharma are simply “ethics or moral values”. These ethics are especially concerned about values that should be instilled in children, when they are still young and impressionable. Some of you may question as to how we can succeed in life, if we operate with such highly principled norms, in the work places, which are invariably infested with ruthless and sometimes, even savage operators. I understand that the work place culture is a jungle culture – and I also understand that there are predators in every jungle. This thought, however, may clarify all such doubts.

We all have a family. We all have friends too. We all work also. Mostly, we operate in these three environments only.

These three environments invariably are quite distinct – dominated by their own distinct and unique cultures. Whatever culture we have in our family environment, for instance, does not prevail in the work environment. Every work place culture is unique to the particular work place only. Dealing and wheeling, however, is a common feature of the work place culture. “If I do this for you, what will you do for me in return” is the rule there. Every work place has its own politics and polarizations. Even in such work places, there may be individuals, who follow certain unquestionable ethics, but these are the exceptions to the rule.

Every culture has its own unique rules. Every culture has also its own unique ethics. It is Dharma when you follow the ethics and rules of a culture – no matter what they are.

When we are not aware of this fact, we tend to apply the ethics and rules that are applicable at home to the work place and vice versa. Consequently, when we do not get the expected responses, we are subject to disappointments, frustrations and conflicts. When there is no confusion about what ethics and rules we should follow in each culture, however, we are peaceful and happy.

Among friends too, we find both types of cultures. In some, we find a culture similar to what prevails in our own family - and in others, we find a business-deal type of culture. It is essential to clearly distinguish and recognize the type of culture in which the friend wants to operate. Here again, when there is no confusion, there are no disappointments, frustrations and conflicts.

Further, among the friends, there are two categories – those who are close friends, and those who try to pass for close friends, while in reality they are only acquaintances. A close friend does good without expecting any return. An acquaintance wants a return for every small thing he does for you; it is always a business deal with him. Here again, when we do not understand or recognize this fact, conflicts arise – and we are unhappy.

A similar confusion arises in relationships also. A relative should basically be a good friend – when only the relationship becomes a lasting relationship. Otherwise, it is either business relationship or a relationship marked by a series of ego trips - neither contributing to your happiness.

The next thought is about Certain backgrounds result in certain types of behavior.